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Throughout the years of reviewing and testing sexual wellness products and toys, the offer to take a look at prostate toys was always on the table. We had worked with several outlets that offered this style of toy, and when they were offered up, I politely declined.
The idea of sticking a toy or an object up my ass wasn’t something that appealed to me. It never had. Part of that was due to the stigma surrounding men playing with or exploring their ass.
I grew up in the 80s and 90s. The thought was, for good or bad, that men who liked to play with or stick anything into their ass were homosexuals. I knew that wasn’t the case early on in life, and if my internet browsing history were to be released, anyone with the ability to see it would understand that I wasn’t a homosexual. As I got older and more experienced sexually, as my viewing habits changed a bit, and as our experiences with different products evolved, the idea of prostate pleasure started to make itself more well-known. It had been joked about in a movie from the 2000s. Friends started mentioning it as a great add-on to a blowjob, though at the time I simply thought they were kidding. Then, the toy companies and outlets we worked with started offering these items up...and I really started to wonder if it was something for me.
Guess what y’all, it was.
Since the first toy, my Aneros Helix Syn V, I’ve had the awesome pleasure of testing and reviewing multiple prostate massagers from different brands that have delivered, in different ways, an incredible form of pleasure. I wanted to take a moment to offer a few of my favorites and tell you a little bit about them. Before I dive in, I want to make something clear.
Stigmas are a way to create a barrier to well-being and, as was the case for me, to pleasure. Fuck stigmas.
Now, here’s a little blurb on some of the prostate massagers that have left me an incredibly happy man.
Aneros Helix Syn V: This is the one that started it all and quite nearly ended it for me at the same time. The shape and size are perfect, the power is a nice introduction to vibrating massagers. When it enters your body, when you accept it in place and it reaches its final resting spot, you understand what the hype is all about. It’s a lovely toy, and I think it’s perfect for beginners.
Now, for why it almost ended it for me. She was so curious how it would affect me, and decided to give me a blowjob once I’d found a pattern that I liked. When I came, with this toy buzzing on my prostate, I came in a way that made me feel like Peter North. She was left stunned and resembling a Pollock painting.
We decided that in the future, she wouldn’t give me oral while I had my prostate massagers in.
Aneros Eupho Syn V: The Eupho Syn V is a step up from the Helix Syn V, though not by much in terms of size. If you hold the two up, side by side, you’ll see a slight difference but it’s not by much. What the Eupho Syn V has that Helix doesn’t is a remote control. I will never forget using this one the first time and marveling at how nice it was to have a remote, rather than reaching between my legs and getting lube on my hand to change the pattern or power of my toy. From that point on, I was all about remotes, and so on to the next toy…
LELO Hugo 2: I remember looking at this one next to my Eupho and Helix and thinking, there’s no way. It was thicker, and it had more of a curve to it than the others. Still, I got myself prepared, got myself comfortable and lubed up, and Hugo 2 fit just as nicely as the others I’d tried before. What I wasn’t prepared for, nor was she, was how the power of Hugo would make me moan and fold from the moment the toy was turned on. Hugo 2 is for anyone looking for power in their prostate massager. This is a toy to be enjoyed while relaxing, lying down, not something you can wear while walking around as you might with the Aneros toys. This one left me breathless, it left me satisfied, and by her count it gave me at least seven dry orgasms before she cut me off.
B Vibe Remote Control P Spot Snug Plug 145g: This one was even larger than the aforementioned Hugo 2, and it packed an even heftier punch. She unboxed this one and cackled, then walked around the corner and handed it to me just as I was getting in the shower one morning for work. It was bigger and heavier than anything I’d used, and it was going to take more time to prepare. Prepare I did, but that first time out was, to put it mildly, a stretch. I got the toy in place, fired it up, and WHAM the vibrations sent shockwaves through my body. This toy got easier to take in as I got more used to it, but every time out has been just as pleasurable.
Aneros Vice 2: We’ll end this list with my current favorite, the Vice 2 from Aneros. Aneros is the premier prostate toy manufacturer as far as I’m concerned. Every single toy I’ve used from this brand has fit my body in such an insanely wonderful way. No matter the size, they just go in smoothly and sit comfortably no matter how I position myself. The Vice 2 has more size, and weight than the other vibrating Aneros models I’ve owned, but it’s best feature is the insane amount of vibrating patterns and that each pattern has four different vibration powers. You literally will never grow bored with, or tired of, this toy.
It should go without saying, but any toy you choose to put in your ass needs a good lube, and for us it’s Wicked Anal Jelle Plus. All of the products listed, like most men’s toys, have silicone on them and water-based lubes play nicely with them. Most of the toys are more expensive, and when you invest in a toy like this, you want to make sure you take good care of them.
Also, make sure that you wash and dry your prostate toys well. This is something you need to do both before you play and obviously afterward. This is a non-negotiable, and as I mentioned previously, these toys can be expensive so you want to take care of them.
If you have any questions at all, please feel free to leave them below and I will do my best to get back to you. We’re leaving this open for all subscribers, not just paid subscribers.